The Ipod Whisperer

For some illogical reason, I have become the recipient of friends' ipods whenever they misbehave.Well I know the reason. I am the never say die person. I cannot stand the thought of giving up and admitting defeat. I can beat the ipod. I think I can. I think I can.  I put them in timeout and eventually attempt to reason with them.  Typically before our session is over, I am begging the handheld device to please for the love of all that is good to cooperate and operate! My most recent patient is challenging on a new and disturbing level. The ipod sends an error message with a number that directs you to a manufacturer's message regarding that error number and similar error numbers. This message basically informs you that while this is a common error, we, the manufacturer, do not have a clue as to how to correct it. We do not want to tell you to toss it and buy another one. Rather instead we tell you to try various things including turning it on and off, toggling the hold button, turning itunes on and off, turning your computer on and off, holding your breath and counting backwards starting at twelve thousand and one... I made the last one up. But the directions were eerily close to the directions for the hokey pokey. When the owner of the "corrupted" ipod receives the error message for the hundredth time...the consumer should be directed toward a cyber hazmat team that will arrive in Ghostbuster fashion and exorcise the personal jukebox back to normality or in ipod terms, restore the device.  (When an ipod is restored, you do hear the hallelujah chorus coming from somewhere....) Our goal is to restore the device to its original factory settings and give the little guy another shot at high performance. A simple do-over. That is all that we are requesting. Instead of sound advice and yes the pun is intended, we receive instructions to slam down five energy drinks while simultaneously turning our computer on and off and singing the national anthem. I have yet to succeed in restoring this last ipod. The translation of my restoration of the other ipods is that they magically began working again. We love our ipods but we need real tech support. Until then, please rise for the singing of the national anthem.