Please Release Me

Several years ago, I went parasailing over the magnificent Gulf of Mexico. No,not the whole thing...just a small part. It was a beautiful day and the water was sparkling. Prior to my boarding the small vessel that would take me to the boat from which I would launch into the skies, I was asked to sign a piece of paper. This document was a release form. I was waiving any rights I might have considered having if anything went wrong in this aerial adventure. Moments after signing my life away, I was on board the primary boat. Some guy had me step into a harness while he mumbled some inaudible instructions. Then he said: "Have you got it?" and without hesitation I replied "Yes". He gave a thumbs up and I was sucked into the clouds before I could re-apply sunscreen. It was only then that I wondered what he meant by have you got it. Got what? The will to live? Insurance? A spiritual connection? I did remember him having mentioned the fun fact that I would be "dipped" in the ocean once before landing back on the boat. Now that I had a realistic view of where I was going to be dipped, visions of Richard Dreyfuss and Roy Scheider filled my eyes. Then that paper popped into my head. What did I sign? Of course, I had not taken the time to read it. The adrenalin rush was on full force and the paper was standing in the way of my fun.

A waiver was thrust in front of me in a hospital post-accident and pre-surgery a few years back. How much pain medication I was on, I cannot tell you. What the papers said, I cannot tell you. Of course, I signed. I may have also signed the Constitution, purchased a car and enlisted in the military that day. Who knows?

In college an activity was popular among some of the local bars that involved riding a bull. Of course I rode. Let me be more specific. It was a mechanical bull. The movie Urban Cowboy may have prompted the birth of this sport. I cannot remember. There is something else I can't remember. I don't know what the waiver said. One of my friends was a law student and she begged me not to sign the paper. I assured her that there was no chance I was going to fall off the bull. She seemed to think I had some sort of false exaggerated sense of my bull-riding ability. I informed her that I was not going to fall off because there was no chance I was going to land on the most disgusting mattresses I had ever seen. I had my motivation to hang on. My destiny was set. I rode and I rode. Fall off, I did not. To be fair, I must inform you that an intoxicated kitten could have stayed on at the speed the operator had set for me. Sign the waiver? I did not. My friends created some sort of distraction while I climbed onto the bull and before you knew it, the rodeo had begun.

So, yes I have been bull-riding. I have never run with the bulls. Nor have I ever run with ex cons or former dictators. I have never run with rhinos or rabid raccoons. I have never run with the wrong crowd. Wrong individuals,yes. A wrong crowd, never. If you choose to run with the grizzlies,then read the waiver and if you so choose,sign it. Then put your attorney on speed-dial.

The parasailing was great fun. It was a wonderful experience. The surgery not so much. The bull-riding was fantastic.It is a marvelous memory. The liability for an accident or injury depends on specific circumstances. Risk-taking is a part of life. Don't waive your right to have fun.